Thursday, January 28, 2010

A Very Difficult Day

Today was difficult. I visited mom this morning with my sister and mom was unresponsive. She wasn't there—we could tell. Her eyes would occasionally open, but she had the most distant look I have ever seen. At one point, her eyes opened wide and she scanned us there and asked “Everyone Here?” But then she quickly fell back in to that distant state. I am trying to be strong, but this was difficult to handle. I am glad that I saw here wen I did and didn' delay coming out here—I have a feeling her mind and sprit are now gone.

205 comments:

1 – 200 of 205   Newer›   Newest»
oyster said...

My thoughts are with you and your family. I wish you strength, and your mom peace.

Nate St. Pierre said...

I'm sorry, Bill. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. I was with my wife when her mom was dying of cancer, and I saw how much it took out of her. I think you're doing the right thing by being there with her at the end, and it's the most worthwhile thing you could be doing in your life right now.

Hopefully you can take solace in the fact that your mom and the rest of your family are having their troubles eased just a little bit by you being there with them during this difficult time.

Keep it up, my friend - and know that there are people out there who care about you and what you're going through right now.

Nate
http://ItStartsWith.Us

Dan said...

Hopefully you and your family can find some peace during this hard time. I can't imagine how hard it must be but I'm sure she'll be in a better place soon. Hang in there man, you're doing good.

Dan

Little_Lotte said...

*hugs* Stay strong but remember that it's ok to cry.

Serendipity said...

Bill, you aren't alone!

I lost my mother to cancer after being her sole caregiver before her hospitalization. I know how hard it is to stay strong while someone you love slips away.

I'm not a religious person but I am aware of an instinct inside that tells me that birth is not the begining and death is not the end.

I feel this world is like an amusement park, there are so many sights to see and so many adventures to have. Sometimes we have to "go home" early but that doesn't mean we can't come back another day.

The hardest part is to continue to enjoy all the worlds attractions without those we want to share them with most.

You have all my empathy!

Amy --- Just A Titch said...

Bill, I am so sorry to read this entry---I cannot imagine the heartbreak you are feeling. Know that people are sending you good thoughts, prayers and love today.

KatherineBee said...

I'm so sorry you're going through this difficult time. Your mom is very lucky to have your support and love. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Jess @ Openly Balanced said...

I am so sorry for your struggle. I cannot even imagine how hard it must be. My thoughts and wishes are with you today. Strength to you and your family, and may the end of your mother's journey be peaceful.

Katie said...

May you seek comfort in these trying times. It is so very hard when their body is alive, but their soul and personality is not. I am praying for you and your family.

Emily said...

she is loved, and she knows about it. and she remains in your heart.

be strong.

E via
http://ItStartsWith.Us

That Kind of Girl said...

My thoughts are with you. As far away as she seems, I'm sure it is some comfort to her that you and your sister are there. All my sympathies.

*~*~*Bargain Blessings*~*~* said...

Bill~ You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

Jennie

Kylie said...

Bill,

I'm very sorry to hear about your mother's ill health. My thoughts are with you in this tough time. Nothing anyone can say can make it better, but know that you are never alone.

Kylie

Lori said...

Bill;

I have been there with both my Mom and my Dad.

I know what you're feeling, and what you're going through.

Please know that you aren't alone right now, and that whatever you're feeling, whatever is inside you, it's the right thing.

You are not alone.

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts, and if you should ever want to talk or vent some emotion, please feel free to contact me.

Hugs to you and yours.

Lori

Andrea said...

I'm sorry for your heartache. It's wonderful that you can be there for your mother when she needs you. Try not to focus on these last moments in the end, remember all the joy you had together.

lifelove'n'wine said...

I am so sorry to hear about the hard time that your family is going through right now. My grandfather died of cancer, and at the end he had that same look in his eyes that you described. It was hard standing there, holding his hand, and knowing that he didn't know who I was or maybe that I was even there. I know the fact that this is your mother makes it even harder.

I know that there isn't anything that anyone can say to take the pain away...but know that there are people out there who have you in their thoughts. I wish the best for you and your family.

-Jen-

WhimsAndInconsistencies said...

Sending prayers and happy thoughts to you and your family!

Kevin said...

Bill--

I know how it feels. My grandmother is in a very very similar state.

It's rough. But it gets better.

My strength to you,

Kevin

Yard House said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tammi said...

"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy." ~Author Unknown

Bubbashelby said...

Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

eden said...

Bill, I don't know how hard this is for you right now. I lost a grandparent a few years ago, and that was hard for me.

I don't know what your personal beliefs are, but I believe in an afterlife where we are reunited with those that we love, and we can be with them forever.

I'll be praying for you and your family.

~eden

Yard House said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jo said...

Take care of yourself in these hard times, Bill. It's difficult to lose anyone you are close to, but the best gift you can give them in their last days is the best you that you can manage.

Keep your chin up and keep fighting. You're doing just fine.

shiny mamaof6 said...

Bill,

My heart goes out to you and I just want to let you know that I have been where you are and the most comforting thing for me at the time was to know that my mom's body may have been unresponsive, but her spirit was alive and well.

If that is not comforting for you then just know that you and your mother are in my thoughts today.

Blessings

Jaime said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult time. I can't even begin to imagine what pain you and your family are experiencing, but know that there are many of us praying for you.

Heidi Massey said...

Hey Bill,
I lost my mom through a long drawn out illness as well. It is incredibly difficult.

What you are doing is so hard. But your mother, even on those rough days, knows you are there and you are easing her mind. Continue to do what you are doing and know that you are role modeling for your children how to handle life's challenges. You will be able to feel as though you did all you could for your mom.

I will be thinking about you and will send prayers your way. The memories you share with family and friends will be of great support for you in the days and years to come.

BENDER!! said...

I can't imagine what you must be going through and I'm so sorry you have to endure it.
Aside from being stuck in a nursing home with MS, my father is going strong and so is my Mom.
I travel for work and missed my grandmother's final days and I still feel guilty for not being able to say goodbye. I honestly don't know if that was a blessing or a curse.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to show emotion.
Don't be afraid to talk to your Mom (no matter if she can hear you or not) and remind her about all the wonderful things she did right by you and that you forgive her everything she may have done wrong.
Most of all, don't be afraid or ashamed to move on after it's all over. I bet that's what she'd want.

Douglas said...

Just one year ago I raced from the midwest to California after my brother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I had the opportunity to spend eight days with him and it was the most difficult and most wonderful and most rewarding time I have ever spent. Live the experience fully as we only get a single chance to go thru each day. My thoughts are with you during this time of great changes.

LEVEL ZERO said...

Bill,

Words are hard to come by at a time like this, but I would like to send my sincerest heart felt concern and wish you well during this difficult time. Even as a Paramedic I am not ready to have anything happen to my family so my heart goes out to you!

Landon and Kylie said...

My grandmother passed away a year ago, she went through dementia beforehand. Even when she wasn't sure who we were, I could always tell she was happy to have us there in her final months. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Miri said...

Hey Bill. I don't know if you are religious or not, but I am, and I just want to let you know that I will be praying for you, for your mom, and for your whole family. I'm Catholic, and in times like this I always recur to Jesus' Divine Mercy. I have a strong devotion to Him, and He is always my source of strength. Even if you are non-religious, I encourage you to visit this website: http://www.ewtn.com/Devotionals/mercy/backgr.htm. You might find something there that gives you hope.
I hope that you feel better and that your family finds the strength to go through this with peace and hope. All the best.

~M

Tom Krieglstein said...

Sending you my strength from the North Side of Chicago. At the end of the day, we're all together on this Earth and share in each other's joys and pains.

Alicia McAuley said...

Bill,

We may be strangers, but my heart goes out to you and your family during this very difficult time. I know it's hard to be strong when someone you love is suffering, but please believe that even if it doesn't seem like it, your mum knows that you are there. Because of your strength and your love for her, she doesn't have to go through this alone, and that makes all the difference. Please know that you are not alone, either. You are in so many people's hearts today, and we are all sending you love, support and prayers. I hope that you can find comfort in that, and in the lifetime of memories that your family has made together.

Wishing your family much peace...

Emma said...

Bill, you don't know me, but I want to tell you that you're not alone. It's so good that you got to visit with your mom one last time. Take solace in that, but don't be too hard on yourself during the grieving process. It takes time.

xo

Rachet said...

I was at my grandmother's side as she passed away from the cancer that started in her stomach and ended in her brain. It was quiet and peaceful. I hope it's the same for you. You are in my thoughts. Be strong.

Amogh Upadhyay said...

Bill,
though i haven't experienced such a situation, i do feel that your mom is in peace after seeing you by her side.i do believe that you will have the courage and strength to overcome this.she, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

- amogh

Terry Sanders said...

Bill,

You are in the process of generously giving one of the most precious gifts that you can to your mother. Thank you for sharing the experience, and both of you have the thoughts and prayers of many with you. Much love to you and your mother.

DShan said...

Spirits leave filled to brim. Don't forget that. The moments were had and she felt happiness, and it's time to take that happiness with her somewhere else. I send my prayers from Canada.

Iva said...

I am so very sorry. Please stay strong. We will all be keeping you and your family in our thoughts.

Crystal said...

Bill, Your commitment, love, and strength are awesome and inspiring. Blessings to you, your mom, and the rest of your family.

Matt said...

Sending positive thoughts your way, man.

Linda Mae said...

Bill,
You are a great comfort to your Mom during this transition to her afterlife. Allow yourself to relax into the experience and resist being strong. This allows her to relax into her experience as well.
Everything is Love.
Hugs,
Linda

marisa_vancos said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time.

nicopolitan said...

The fact that you know your mother's mind and spirit enough to know when it isn't present means that it will live on as along as you can remember it.

I've gone through very similar circumstances with a grandma. It's not easy to go through so I'm sending some special thoughts and prayers your way.

May you find your strength, sir.

Rachael said...

Bill,
You and your family are in my thoughts. Lean on those around you. I'm sure anyone who has left a comment here would welcome you with open ears and arms. Stay strong!

Cali said...

Bill, You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine what you must be going through right now, but it's amazing the kind of love and dedication you are sharing with your family.
Best, Cali

bayleigh said...

I'm so sorry you are going through such a hard time. What a wonderful gift you are giving to your Mom by being by her side! Sending up prayers for you and your family from Alabama,

Bayleigh

Sara said...

Although I don't know you or your family, I hope that you all are able to find some peace soon. There are many people sending healing thoughts to you and yours and I am among them.

Ashley said...

My thoughts are with you as well as your family. Stay strong.

Sarah said...

Bill,
What a heartbreaking situation. Your mom is so fortunate to have people like you surrounding her right now. I'm sure on some level she knows that you are at her side.
I'll be thinking of you and sending strength your way.

June said...

You and your family are in my thoughts

Pace said...

Bill,

My thoughts are with you. There is love available, even here.

R.M.C. said...

Bill,

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Hang in there. One day you will look back and be glad that you were there with her even though it is very difficult.

Nicole Rios said...

Bill,

Although I haven't yet had to experience those very close to me pass away, I just wanted to say that you guys are in my prayers. Hang in there, man. Its a hard road, but I bet its so comforting for your mother, even if sometimes she doesn't realise it, that you and your family are still by her side.

Stephen K said...

Being strong and feeling the weight of this terrible situation are not mutually exclusive. It's inevitable that you will feel distressed and while it's important that you're there, don't feel like you have to put on a strong and smiling face all the time. Stay strong Bill, but never be afraid to ask for help.

Beth said...

Hi Bill,

Though we don't know each other, you are in my thoughts. I went through something similar with my grandmother two years ago and it was incredibly difficult.

Looking back, I wouldn't trade those days with her for anything, though. I'm so glad I could be there with her.

It must be extremely difficult for you these days, but please know there are people all over the world you've never even met who are reading your words and holding you in their hearts.

Best,
Beth

Tiffany said...

I can't imagine what you're going through, it must be so difficult for you. The only advice I could possibly give you is to spend all thr time you possibly can with her and your siblings, and just try to savour the now. Our thoughts are with you

Dyinetch said...

I really admire you for being a very loving son. That fact alone will give your mom peace. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Stephen Courtright said...

"Everyone here" sounds like your mother's way of making peace for herself. I hope you and your family can find the same peace, and I am glad that you were able to be there to share in such an important moment.

Sherri said...

Hi Bill,

I just lost my Grannie last week and she went through the same unresponsive state that you mention your mom is in. We were very close and so I know how heartbreaking it can be to watch someone you love go through this stage.

My thoughts are certainly with you and the rest of your family. Be strong. Your mom is lucky to have you by her side.

Sincerely,
Sherri

www.zenfamilyhabits.net

Cait said...

You don't know me, but my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I can't imagine how difficult it is to be in your spot, but I hope that you all find peace very soon.

colleen said...

Bill-

When I lost my dad we went through a similar experience. I still wouldn't say I know how you feel, but I will tell you that I'm sure she does.

I hope together your family can find peace and love even in this, the hardest of times.

My prayers are with you.

Macey said...

Hey Bill,

Sorry about your mom. Glad you are able to spend the last moments of her life by her side, I'm sure it means a lot to her. Pray that you and your family will experience peace and comfort. You're not in this alone, stay strong.

Prayers,
Macey

H.Woodling said...

I lost my mother last June. I know what you are going through. She was sick for a long time, and we all knew that her time was limited. But the day she died she was woke up, watched tv with my dad, and then collapsed and died on his arms. He called me that morning and told me she was gone.

This time, this opportunity to really say goodbye, is hard, but a gift. I wish I had really had to chance to kiss my mom and say goodbye to her while she was still alive. And she's still there, or she would've left already.

My thoughts are with you.

Caitlin said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. I wish you peace and comfort.

EyesBehindtheMask said...

Please know that tou and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

E

Melissa said...

Bill-
There are no words to describe the loss of your mother. My prayers are with you and your family.

Life is so much more than what we do here on earth- her legacy will live on forever.

God Bless you,
Melissa

Shanette said...

Bill,

We don't know each other, but I wish you and your family well. I haven't lost a parent, so I can't exactly say I know how you feel, but lost a grandmother who was just about my mother. Please know that she loves you, and you will feel that love as long as you keep her in your thoughts. Stay strong.

sarahdotcom said...

I can't imagine what you are going through, but do know my thoughts are with you. Wishing you well through this very hard time.

Jenn said...

I can't imagine what it must be like to watch someone you love suffer, but our thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom. Stay strong, and we're here if you need us.

Ariel said...

Dear Bill I wish for strength and serenity for you and want you to know that you are an amazing person. Much love and thoughts your way xxx

lauren said...

my love and prayers to you. keep your chin up, and don't be afraid to ask when you need things.

all the comfort in the world,

- lauren xoxo

OnTheRoad said...

Bill,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It is very helpfull for people who are going through a similar situation to know that they are not alone. I wish you and your family the best.

all2one said...

I cannot imagine how you are feeling, but try to remember you (and also I) someday will go the same way as your mother goes now.

I hope this'll somewhat soothe your aching mind...

Vinita Pappas said...

You are a good son and a great man for loving and caring for your Mama.

Marwa said...

Bill,

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I wish you and your family well and hope you get through this difficult time.

Amanda Hite said...

Bill, I cannot imagine what you are going through right now. I wish you strength and peace. We are all sending you supportive energy. Take care, Amanda

Jared said...

Bon courage, mon ami. I will be praying for you and your family.

In Christ,
- Jared

Kandace said...

i'm so so sorry. I know I don't have the words to describe how i'd feel in your shoes, and I hurt for you even though I don't know you. It is so great that you are there for her now when you need to be, for her sake and for yours. I am wishing you all the best and all the strength you need to get through this.

hischke5 said...

Wishing you all the strength, courage, and peace you need on this journey. You are not alone!

nando.gino said...

Cry if you want to cry, laugh if you want laugh, just spoil out your feelings right now. After that keep in your mind 'everythings happened for a good reason'

Nevflinn said...

The pain you are feeling right now must be immense. I can't say I know for sure what it's like, nor will I be as bold to claim that. But please, no matter what happens, no matter how hard it gets, no matter what she seems like, she is with you. She is always with you, in whatever ways she can. In your memory, in your heart, and in feeling. If there is anything I know for sure, it's that.

Stay strong, Bill. Remember her as she truly is. She'd love it if you smiled. We all would.

- Sam.

LAStambaugh said...

My thoughts are with you & your family.

Bryna said...

I can't even imagine what you're going through right now. I've been very fortunate to not have lost someone I care so deeply about yet. But we all go through it at some point. It's a universal truth. Thank you for being so honest, and vulnerable. I appreciate your candor. I'll be praying for you and your family. I'm sure your mom would be so proud to know how many people you're touching through your honesty with this struggle. Bless you and your family!

Robin said...

Bill,

I can tell how much you mean to your mom by her question of "Everyone here?". It is obvious that you are very important to her. Be encouraged that she is happy and at peace because her loved ones are there with her. And though this is extremely difficult for you, she appreciates it immensly.

pixie658 said...

My thoughts are with you and your family right now.
I was my grandmother's caretaker this summer as she lost a battle with cancer. I was with her every second I could be. Watching the woman who helped raise me pass so slowly was the most difficult thing I have ever faced. I could not have done it without the love and support of my friends and family.
I remember her saying she had seen everyone she needed to see. She said she was ready.
I am sending you my thoughts.
You are a wonderful person to be there with her at the end. She knows you are there. And you will know you were there with her. It is painful. You will miss every day. You will know you with her.
Namaste.

Reed said...

So sorry to hear about this and what you must be going through. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

I'm truly touched by your strength to share such a personal time in your life.

Kite (JM) said...

Bill, I wish you strength.

You are - and she is - surrounded by people who love.

Peace

Jeney Peney said...

Bill,

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

I wish you strength and courage in your time of need. But remember that it's okay to be weak sometimes...

natasha said...

I can't imagine how you must feel.
But I admire so much your strength and your courage to talk about this.
If your mum recognised you for even that short time I bet she'd be so grateful to you and your sister for being there with her.

You and your family are in my thoughts & prayers.

Take care, God bless x

My Inner Voice said...

Stay strong, Bill! You are not alone.

Alison said...

Bill:
I can only imagine how you're feeling right now.
I've had a few run ins with medical issues of my mother, but they weren't as drastic. But I do understand how it feels to see someone you love in a condition such as that. Just know that there are many people praying for you and giving you and your family their best wishes.
Your mother will be in a better place, and she will always be with you, in mind, heart, and spirit.

Hang in there,
Ali

Koshin said...

I am really sorry to hear about your Mother, my aunt suffer's from Alzheimers and it is an extremely hard thing to witness when the person you know and love loses their spark.

Every now and then there are flashes of recognition but they are few and far between. Even though she doesn't always recognize us, you can see her flash a smile every now again when we sing to her or she hears her favorite song. I'm sure your mother can appreciate your presence even if she can't voice it. I wish you and your family all the best.

K

Kristen said...

Bill - We all know what it feels like to lose someone special to us, but no matter what all that really matters is what it means to YOU! Please know that we are thinking of you and sending loving thoughts your way during these difficult times.

Much love from Southern California!

Debra said...

Bill,

My thoughts and prayers are with you a his difficult time...your mother is in your heart and you are in her heart...she is there listening to you always...I have been through this with my father and my aunt...understand the pain, frustration and guilt that can wash over you sometimes all at the same time! Here if u need to chat!

matt said...

Bill,

Lots of good folks out here thinking of you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

frogsinatree said...

Bill - you and your family are in my thoughts. While I have yet to experience the loss of a parent, I can only imagine how painful a day like this will be. I wish for you and your family all of the comfort and support that can possibly be offered to you.

Much love and support from Ontario, Canada.

Carina said...

There is nothing we can say to make this time any easier, but know, our thoughts are with you!

Sharon said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I too have been with a loved one through the end of their time on earth, suffering from cancer - I know how difficult it is. I pray for strength and peace for you and your family. Don't forget to take time out from being the strong one, and ask for help from those around you. Lean on them and allow them to take care of you too.

Blessings,

S.

Whitney said...

Sending up prayer for you and your family, for strength and comfort and courage, but mostly, for love.

Hanne said...

Hi Bill,
another stranger here. My thoughts go out to you from Norway, may your mother die peacefully. I was moved to tears by your blog post and the comments left on it. I hope you'll be able to draw some strength from, find some solace.

I won't say anything else, I believe it has been said in the previous comments. I hope that by thinking and praying for you tonight, we can shoulder some of the burden, if only a tiny piece.

-Hanne

Becky said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom Bill! My thoughts and prayers are with you this day.

ThatFrayChickAlex said...

I'm very sorry to hear about your mom, I've had family and friends with cancer, and the whole process really is awful to go through. My prayers are with you and your mom.

doniree said...

It's an amazing and selfless thing to make sure to be there with your mother and your sister during your mother's last days. She may not be able to convey it, but her spirit is still with you. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Molly said...

Bill, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. It really is wonderful of you to be there right now. My thoughts are with you.

becca said...

I hope that you have a great week, even though you have been through a tragedy.

Sara Dymphna Lyons said...

My heart goes out to you, Bill. If she's not there in front of you, I'm sure your mother is watching you somewhere- you're a great son, and my entire family is praying for yours

 ALH said...

I feel for you and your family. You will be in my thoughts. I wish you strength, and your mother peace.

Rob said...

The one bright light during the dark times of tragedy is knowing that you are not alone. My thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time.

PAUL TRAN - Friend, Entrepreneur, Advisor, Investor, Restaurant Developer, Workaholic (obviously) & Closet-Case Singer said...

Hey Bill - though I do not know you, I know what you're going through, and that you are not alone when praying for the absolute best. Please hang in there. Love you, Brother

Katherine said...

I've been there and it's absolutely horrible to see a parent in that state! I'm glad you made it to see her and I hope that brings you some comfort through all this!

I'll be thinking about you and you're family!

callitkarma said...

My best wishes to you, I hope things turn out for the better.

jdw. said...

hi Bill,

I just wanted to let you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time -- you are not alone!

All the best.
Jen

Phoenix said...

Be strong, Bill. Some things are really hard to take, and one of those things is death. I can't even stand to go in hospitals anymore because of the memories it brings up. I hope you turn out better than me, and know that I'll be thinking of you.

Erin said...

Bill,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. Be strong and know that you have a lot of people sending their love your way.

Joanna said...

Sending warming and comforting thoughts to you, Bill, from Boston. Your mother is so very lucky to have such a caring family.

Reagan said...

You are in my thoughts, warmly.

East said...

I'm really sorry to hear about your mother, but please, remember that this is just such a small portion of her life. Remember all of the good times you had with each other- that's what she'd want, I'm sure. It's hard, it's horrible, but remember she wasn't always like this. You'll be in my prayers.

Menaka said...

Bill, thoughts and prayers for you and your family in this difficult time. I hope, soon, that sunshine will flood your life once more.

Lilani Anne said...

hang in there! big warm hugs and positive thoughts.

Lundie said...

Praying for you and your family...

Sally said...

Bill, I am thinking of you and your family right now. I know what you are going through is very hard as I have been through this with family and friends. Be there for her as much as you can and think of the times you spent together that were good.

rachel elizabeth said...

thinking of you and your family today and sending you so, so much love. <3

m'liss; said...

I'm really sorry to hear about what's going on in your family. I definitely understand what you're going through, and all my thoughts & prayers are with you guys.

Joseph said...

It's because of the depths valleys that we can appreciate the heights of the hills. Be strong in your time of difficulty Bill.

flipflopsintherain said...

You and your family are in my heart during this difficult time. Sending hugs from many miles away!

Fallen Angel said...

Sending you and your family strength, love and patience.

Timmy said...

Be strong, Bill, and know that your mom will soon be in a better place. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Timmy

Ali said...

Your presence means more to your mom than you'll ever know.

Stay strong and take care, Bill.

Jason said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

“Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)

Karley said...

I'm sorry to hear that Bill, I hope everything turns out okay for you and your family, I'll pray for your mother too.

Alice said...

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through right now. My mom went through the same thing last year with her mom, and it was really tough. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers and hope that you find some comfort in all of this.

Cricket said...

My thoughts and prayers are with all of your family, especially you and your wonderful mum. It must mean a lot to her to have you there with her. Stay strong. *hugs*

Tara said...

Bill,

So sorry to hear about that. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kelly L said...

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I can't even imagine. * BIG HUGS *

bunny said...

Bill,
Even though I (as well as many here) do not know you, my heart felt condolences go out to you at this time.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran

MotherEarth said...

Bill, I'm so sorry you're going through this difficult time. I'm sure your presence means everything to your mom.

Katie said...

Dear Bill,
I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but please know that there is always someone to turn to for support and love. :)

Lucy said...

Stay strong my friend, everything happens for a reason and just know that there are people out there who care and are thinking of you at this hard time.

Lucy NZ

Elizabeth Marie said...

Bill,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family right now. Sending you positive thoughts from Cali.

xo
Liz

Krista said...

Stay strong. The best thing you can do is be there for her and for your family. You may not know it, and she may not be able to tell you - but your mom appreciates you being there very much. I work on an oncology unit and see families go through this every shift. Being there when it is the hardest is a very admirable and honorable task. Hang in there.

samuekl said...

You are in my prayers. I really hope things will start looking up for you and your fam.

samuekl said...

You are in my prayers. I really hope things will start looking up for you and your fam.

Shia said...

Bill,
I am so sorry. This must be such a hard time for you. I will include you, your mother, and your family in my prayers. Your mother is so lucky to have your strength and support during these times. Stay strong.

Sijia said...

Hey Bill,
It must be tiring and saddening to go through all of this but remember, stay strong and be positive. I'm sure your mother will want you to be strong. Smile for her when you see her again and be strong.

Bre said...

Both you and your mom are in my prayers,man. Even though her body may not be with you, her love will never leave you. Stay strong and keep an open heart. Thats the best advice I can give. Peace.

dudeiluvu33 said...

Hi Bill,
Stay strong love. I will be thinking about you and praying for you. Remeber, never give up hope.

Annie said...

So sorry Bill.
At least you were there for her.
Take some comfort in that.
I'm sure she knew you were there.
Annie

Bumble said...

Bill, our thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. I can not imagine what you and your family are going tru.
Stay strong.
Love and peace
Annette

April said...

“Don't grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.”
-Rumi

I feel for you, and I know how hard seeing someone die can be. just know that your mother isn't leaving forever, she's just moving to a new stage of her journey. You will see her again :)

Belle Renee said...

Sending you lots of love and peace. You're in my thoughts.

teakay said...

Bill, hope you're feeling better. I can only imagine the stress and sadness you must be feeling. When my mom broke her back, she seemed to be so distant, and that was very tough. Best to you and please take care of yourself through these times.

Merri said...

Bill-

I know it's tough, but you can get through this. Your mom would want you to be happy and let her go with love and a smile. Cliche as it is, it's true.
You're not alone.
Take care, stay safe.

xxMerri

starlight said...

You are strong. It hurts, i know, but you can get through this.

There are always stars. Remember that.

Isaac Yassar said...

Life is just a super RPG, we are here to learn and experience. What your mom experience now is what she want to go through to reach her goal in this life. Angel and spirit guides are guiding and protecting her. Don't worry.

Courtney said...

hang in there and just keep praying for the best--whatever that might be.

Lean on your family. That's what they are for!

Your mom and your family will get a prayer from me tonight.

Bubbles said...

i know its hard, but hang in there. our prayers are with you.
hugs and kisses from all of us.

Claire said...

It is always hard to see a loved one going through something like this, and it hurts to feel so powerless. One of my elderly relations recently passed away from bone cancer, and I know how much he was in pain right up until the end. What shocked me was what he said at the very end - his last words to us were "Smile guys, I'm off to Disneyland in the sky. I love you all." This is true!
I don't know how much of that was the painkillers he was on, but for the first time since his diagnosis, his daughter laughed. I will never forget the beaming smiles on both their faces as he left us.
Your mother may not seem like she is in real life, but just remember that no matter what, she still loves you even if she cannot express it. Just keep your thoughts positive - she is going to a better place, so stay with her until she gets there - which I know you are doing. I admire your strength so much, and only hope I can be that strong one day too.
Don't forget to reach out for a little help for yourself, too. It is never easy, and there are many people who are happy to help.
With love... Claire
xxx

ScarletBegonias said...

My heart and prayers are with you and your family :) xo Stay strong :)

MrsAlbrecht said...

Bill,

I can tell how much you care about your mom from the way you write about her. I live in Japan - so it's daytime here, now. I will be praying for you throughout the day - you night.

You mentioned your mom's Bible in your Tuesday post -- Psalm 139 is always of comfort to me when I am struggling to understand when someone I love is dying.

It helps me to focus on the thought that our days are numbered before we're born, and that God is the one who determines them, not the doctors. It helps to realize that from the time we were conceived, through great trials in life, and even in death, God is always there.

I am praying for you and your family this morning that these last moments with your mom will be peaceful and memorable as she passes from one life to the next.

What an honor it must be for her that her son is standing by her side, watching over her. As a mom myself, as sad as it is to think of dying, I hope that I have the people I love there with me as I take my final breath.

::hugs::

Much love from Japan,
Sarah Joy Albrecht

via http://ItStartsWith.Us

http://sarahjoyalbrecht.com
http://twitter.com/mrsalbrecht

Marcia said...

Hi Bill,
This must be a very hard time for you and your family. She will know that you are there for her. Remember the good times, you will always have your memories.

Best wishes , Marcia (Canberra, Australia)

Blogette said...

My heart goes out to you and to your family during this sad time. Speaking completely for myself, I don't think the spirit is every really gone. The people we love are always with us and no matter what happens, I think, she will always be with you. I will you keep you in my thoughts and I hope your Mother and you find some peace.

Krista (Detroit, Michigan)

lollygagger said...

Sending good thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

Laurel said...

I'm very sorry about your mom. I hope you can find peace of mind and strength to carry on. Never forget that there are people who care about you and will help you through the difficult times.

sillysydney96 said...

I'm so sorry Bill. I'm sending you love through the internet. You and your family will be in my prayers.

Ciaran said...

Dear Bill,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hold each other close and know that you are surrounded by seen and unseen angels always. Peace.

mike said...

Bill,
I had an uncle pass away too early a number of years ago. It was hard. One of the positive things I took away from it was how everyone drew together that day. It seemed like we all needed every one of us to get through it. It showed me that I can't take my loved ones for granted.

I'll be praying...
Mike

Krista said...

Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time. There are no words anyone can say to make this easier on you; just know that people from all over the world have heard your story & have offered their hearts & prayers in response.

VinaMist said...

Prayers are out for you and your family. Your mom is in our thoughts and prayers. You are doing the right thing in reading to her at all times. I was ill with cancer once and was not able to function at one time, but I could hear everything. It was quite scary to feel my body shutting down like a machine. Having someone there is comforting. Stay with her and may our prayers give comfort to her and you both.

Mr Alex said...

Although I've never been through something as tough as what you're going through right now, it's during tough times like this that I try to remind myself of what all of this means. All the pain and sadness you're going through is a result of all the good times you've had. This person has been that good to you, and that's why it hurts to see her go. She is no doubt an amazing person, and the fact that you have been blessed by being close to such a thing is truly remarkable.
I hope keeping this little thing in mind will help you see the silver lining in the storm clouds looming over head. Be glad you had such love and good feelings in your life, and keep her memory with you always.
Good luck to you and stay well, my friend.

Arlyne said...

It's difficult to see the ones you love in pain or suffering. Try to focus on the love and happy moments that you have shared over the years.

Prayer and hugs from Austin, Tex-ass :)

Brenda said...

Went through this exact same experience with my Mom, 15 years ago. Spent her last month in the hospital room with her, night and day. This is a very special gift - these last few days with her. Embrace every moment - you will not regret it later. Sending you thoughts and prayers for strength and peace. May your heart and mind be comforted, just knowing that she is no longer suffering. I don't know you, or her, but as a kid who watched her Mom pass, and as a Mom myself, I know she would be so proud of you. **HUGZZ**

Jenah said...

Dear Bill,
Wanting to wish you and your family peace. I lost my dad several years ago and I am so glad that I was able to be there in the end. It's good you are there now. Focus on all the wonderful memories you have had with her. That will help ease the pain a bit. It's wonderful you were able to have her with you all this time.

Always, Victoria said...

I can't imagine how difficult of a time this must be for you, as well as truly bittersweet. The love for your mother that radiants from your heart is evident in this posting and i'm positive that her mind and spirit are aware of it, too. I wish you peace and healing during this time and will continue to keep you and your family in your thoughts.

Take Care my friend,

*Victoria
http://ItStartsWith.Us

Just another rock head... said...

Oh dear, Bill. I'm so very sorry to hear about your mother. I cannot imagine how painful this must be for you.
You're handling this wonderfully, and you're showing incredible strength. Keep it up, we're all holding out hoe for you.
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers, and remember, we care about you, and we're all pulling for you.

Love,
KP

Julie said...

Hi, Bill -

Warm hugs and comforting thoughts to you and your family.

Best,
Julie

Tuesday said...

Keep hanging in there!

*huggggg

you're handling all of this the best that anyone could and your strength is admirable.

keep it up :)

<3 Tuesday

olympus-101 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
olympus-101 said...

Bill, Your mother, family and yourself will all be in my prayers. It may not be much... But it's all I have. be strong. You will all make it through. Have faith. I do. For you. :)

Love, Peri. xoxo

Beast of wishes.

Lindsey said...

Dear Bill,

Keep hanging in there, you can do this. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, it must be very hard to go through this. I commend your strength and the courage you are showing to stand by her.

All my love and comfort to your family. Good luck and don't forget to take care of yourself.

All the best,
-Fia

eevenson said...

Bill, I cannot imagine how hard it is to see your mother suffer. I pray that in this time you would be comforted and encouraged by the Lord remembering the words of Jesus:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." – Matthew 11:28-30

My prayers are with you and your family.

-Eric

Danny Brown said...

Hi Bill,

Having lost a parent to a withering illness, I feel where you're coming from.

Though it probably seems pat and cliched, just her knowing that you are around (though she may not show it) helps the healing process after.

These are difficult days, but the time together is precious. My sincerest best wishes for you and yours.

Danny.

kingpepsi said...

My prayers are with you. *hug*

Susan Eller said...

hi bill,
may your mom be at peace as her physical body is transitioning. and may you and your family also be able to feel peace with this process.

i'm sending you and your mom heartfelt love and light during this time, a time of what i can only imagine is an extremely mixed bag of emotions. you are not alone.

peace, sympathy, and love,
susan

Marielh said...

While it must feel impossibly difficult right now, remember that even your presence is an enormous help to both your mother and your family. I'll pray for your mother to go in peace, and that you can have the strength to get through such a difficult time. Love from California!

Alyssa said...

I can't imagine being in your situation, but to just simply imagine being in your shoes breaks my heart. I hope that you will find the strength to stay strong throughout this, if not for your family but for yourself. Remember that you can find support from all of your loved ones! My thoughts are with you and your mother, and I wish only the best for you and your family.

Chuckleberry-Bub said...

my thoughts are with you and your mother. even though she doesn't know it, she is loved, and that's all that matters.

be strong. we're with you.

connie

itstartswith.us

Rowan Hébert said...

Our thoughts are with you and your sister and your mother.

Almaas said...

Good luck with everything, our prayers are with your family.
Just have faith in God, and never stop believing... miracles DO happen. Remember that everything happens for a reason, and you mother is lucky to have such a great, caring son like you :-)
It WILL get better; don't lose hope :)

Leah said...

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time and I think your mum would be proud of the strength you guys are showing.

I would like to echo all the comments here that send love and comfort to you all - we are all thinking of you and are sure that things will get better with time.

I hope that you all look back at this time and see the closeness and love you all show for each other and see it as very special, no matter how hard it must be right now.

All my love to you and your family xx:)

Rachel said...

It's never easy, but take comfort in knowing that you're not alone, and that hundreds of people--even strangers--are thinking of you and your family.

Andra said...

I'm sending good thoughts your way.
Stay strong, even though it's much easier said than done.

lorib said...

Bill,
Keep talking to your mom. She will hear your voice and it will give her comfort. I helped a friend last summer with her husband that was dying of brain cancer. We took turns sitting with him and reading to him. Even though his eyes were closed he knew we were there.
Your mom knows how much you love her.

Happy Belated b-day

Jeska said...

Bill,
I am so sorry for the difficult days and weeks you have undoubtedly had. To comfort a loved one during their final days is certainly an extremely hard thing to do. You are a very brave person to be there beside your Mum at such a time, although it may not seem like it, there is a part of her that knows you are there and is grateful for your presence.

I myself lost my Mum when I was 13. Now 17 I can tell you that the experience of saying goodbye is a very precious opportunity that many of us never get.

I hope that you and your family can stay strong over the next days and weeks. There is no easy way to deal with grief, it is the most acute kind of pain. But over time it does get better, and you can learn to live with it.

All my love to your friends and family at this very difficult time. You are not alone :)

Jeska xx

FallingSafe said...

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers, Bill, as you and your family get throught this difficult time.

Han said...

Dear Bill

In the last two years I lost two of my relatives (my Grandma on my Dad's side and my Great Grandma on my Mum's side). I can't compare my hurt to yours but I know it hearts beyond belief some days and it does get easier in the end.

I send mahoosive hugs to you and your family. I will keep you all in my prayers :)

Han
via http://ItStartsWith.Us

Han said...

I am so sorry, I miss understood the post - I then went back and read again and saw that she is hanging on.

I am sorry Bill I put my foot in it up to knee! I can only apologise I am sorry.

craquemonkey said...

Bill, you're strength will help ease the grief and pain of your family so so much. I want to wish you healing and joy in the days to come. I hope your mother rests peacefully, my friend. Good luck!!

Zainab said...

BIll, i am very sorry to hear that
i know what it is like my grandma was the same way i was so sad. I commiserate with you. Stay strong and help your family with the greif you are feeling

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